I remember the day vividly, I was in second grade, at a school assembly…I can’t remember what the assembly was about but I will guess it was some sort of career-day. I turned to my 7-year-old friend next to me and said “I want to be a model when I grow up.” And she laughed. And she told me I was too fat and too ugly.

That was the earliest memory I have of being really ashamed of my body. Of questioning it. Of hating it.

I struggled with my body and my weight from that moment on. Never feeling “good enough.” Always assuming that the reason the boys in school didn’t like me was because of my body.

For whatever reason, I was blessed with the gift of believing I can have and achieve anything I desire–regardless of others’ opinions. That belief has led me to a journey of self-love, healing and acceptance. And also a discovery of my own expression of beauty. 

I went through so many phases of life since that time…college trying to fit in, married and having children really young–feeling like at 25 years old my body was damaged goods, going through a divorce and thinking that no man would ever find me sexy, a breakup and the feelings of singleness all over again, to competing in pageants–finding the very best version of myself, meeting the love of my life–and yet still struggling to love and accept my body.

The photos you see here were taken as part of a “self love” photoshoot captured by one of my very talented photographer friend. He asked if I wanted to do the shoot and my first reaction was “um no way, I’m nowhere NEAR the shape I’d like to be in to be photographed so bare!” But I DID IT ANYWAY…tummy, 20 extra pounds, loose skin, stretch marks and all. And you know what? I love these photos. They remind me that I am beautiful at any phase of life. That while I can definitely pursue fitness goals, competitions, or anything else I desire…I don’t need those things to be and feel beautiful. I am. Worthy. Now. And so are you. 

Here’s what I learned though: it’s not a destination to be sought. Loving your body…like everything else in life is a journey. Our bodies are CONSTANTLY changing, which means we are constantly discovering new ways to love ourselves, new ways to accept ourselves and new ways to express ourselves.

That’s what boudoir is all about my love…expressing yourself in a new way. Seeing yourself in a new way. It’s an experience in which I give you the permission to show up as a sexy, beautiful goddess…and then I capture that experience for you and preserve it into a beautiful album and/or prints for you to enjoy.

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite shows, Schitts Creek…yes I’m going there…is from Moira Rose…she says “Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now. You may currently think “Oh, I”m too spooky” or “Nobody wants to see these tiny boobies,” but believe me: one day, you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say “Dear God, I was a beautiful thing.”

I want to let you in on a little secret: time doesn’t stop. If you’re reading this thinking… “I’ll do a shoot when…” I want you to stop yourself for a moment and think how many times you have said that? How many times have you put something off that never happens? Your dreams? Your ambitions? Your goals? 

If not now when? Here’s the awesome thing too…many of my clients book sessions with me 3-6 months in the future. So even if you do have a goal you’d like to achieve, commit to the very best version of you and then reach for that! Even if I photographed you tomorrow though… you’d still be blown away by how absolutely beautiful  you are now. I promise. 

XOXO,

  sarah